Well it's been a long time coming, I've been at rock bottom for sometime now with my health, losing my military career due to my traumatic brain injury, cyst in my brain, & dealing with daily pain. I've gotten content with being miserable in my own skin.  Im in a weird mental place of not being lost but not being found- feeling like I have no purpose.  Im SO mad and embarassed to be here, ROCK BOTTOM again- a dark place I promised myself I would never be again.  Yet here I am, it was not a series of decisions I've made that has taken me here again but rather a lack of decisions I've made and I've proven once again- if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. I've made a decision to no longer let uncontrollable circumstance define me, but rather hard work, constancy and discipline take over . I will do what I CAN do, rather than focus and continue with my mentality of: if I can't run a marathon I'm not doing anything. This has brought me nothing but further pain! Here are my pictures of accountability at rock bottom – stay tuned for the badass, happy Heidi to reappear. The photos in the striped shirt & dress are my goal pictures from 2010, I like the idea of using my own body as A goal rather than models as I know with hard work I can attain it – I've done it before and I will do it again!  To first steps, baby steps and every step in between!