2015 Summer Bucket List

Camping, / S'mores in yard, / Pick-nick, / Lazy day, / Weekly movie night, / Lagoona beach,  / Frightmares, / Stand up paddle boarding, / Boating, / Swimming, / Four wheeling, / Weekly Craft Project, / Avengers, / Timpanogas cave- reservation, / Aquarium, / Homemade bubbles -HUMUNGOUS ones, / monastery, / Lego building competition, / Climbing gym, / Volunteer, / Game day, / Lake Powell puzzle, / Drawing class, / Hansen planetarium, / sleepover with cousins,  / watch Fresh Prince of belair / Drive in Movie

The kids, Ma, Pa, Browski, Sista, nieces & nephew (my awesome in laws) loaded up for the 30th Annual McBride family Reunion in Exeter Nebraska.  Round trip was 29 hours in the car.  We visited, sang, drew, went swimming, played spoons and rekindled family ties!  In all, a very successful & fun trip ( did I mention I did not drive)!

Well it's been a long time coming, I've been at rock bottom for sometime now with my health, losing my military career due to my traumatic brain injury, cyst in my brain, & dealing with daily pain. I've gotten content with being miserable in my own skin.  Im in a weird mental place of not being lost but not being found- feeling like I have no purpose.  Im SO mad and embarassed to be here, ROCK BOTTOM again- a dark place I promised myself I would never be again.  Yet here I am, it was not a series of decisions I've made that has taken me here again but rather a lack of decisions I've made and I've proven once again- if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. I've made a decision to no longer let uncontrollable circumstance define me, but rather hard work, constancy and discipline take over . I will do what I CAN do, rather than focus and continue with my mentality of: if I can't run a marathon I'm not doing anything. This has brought me nothing but further pain! Here are my pictures of accountability at rock bottom – stay tuned for the badass, happy Heidi to reappear. The photos in the striped shirt & dress are my goal pictures from 2010, I like the idea of using my own body as A goal rather than models as I know with hard work I can attain it – I've done it before and I will do it again!  To first steps, baby steps and every step in between!